Dear Stewart,
You are my hero. Or one of my heroes at any rate. I was first introduced to your stand up by a university friend a couple of years ago and have been hooked ever since. As a some-time aspiring stand up comedian myself, I am writing in the hope of securing your services as a comedy tutor. You could be the Rocky Balboa to my Tommy Gun. (Though hopefully our relationship will not rapidly deteriorate and culminate in a street fight.)
In return, I could perhaps provide you with some ideas on how to make your comedy more accessible to a younger audience? We can discuss this at length in future letters, though I think a cameo role as a jaded, grumpy teacher in something like The Inbetweeners or Skins would be a hilarious part for you!
But back to business! As I understand it, you currently reside in London. I, on the other hand, am based in Manchester. Now, unless you would consider commuting up North to tutor me, we may have to arrange some sort of distance learning programme. Perhaps we could Skype? However, I do appreciate the fact that you are a busy man and, though I would be disappointed, I will understand if this is too much of a commitment for you to undertake. If so, I was hoping you could summarise the most important bits of advice into bullet points, or commandments if you will. Much like God did for Moses in the Bible.
I look forward to your timely response and hope that this will mark the start of a long and fruitful correspondence. I have no doubt that with you on board as my mentor I will fulfil my dream of becoming a huge celebrity stand up like Lee Evans or Michael McIntyre.
All the best Stewart,
Your Fan,
Joe Troop
